Kitchen Disasters

I fully admit that my culinary skills suck (and that's being slightly generous). Ask anyone in my family and they'll agree. I tried to boil water once and the pot caught on fire... I still don't really know what happened. But as time goes on, I imagine that I am getting better, and then I have nights like the other night. Kurt was out, so I took it upon myself to throw some chicken in the oven. I called Mari to make sure that I was doing the chicken right, and it seemed to be going okay. Then I went to make rice, one of the boxed versions. I started boiling the water and then I got distracted and forgot all about it. When I remembered, I was all worried about how much water had evaporated so I hurried and tore open the box and dumped the contents into the water spilling half of the rice all over the counter. Of course there was a seasoning pouch that went right into the boiling water too. Being the genius helicopter pilot that I am, my quick reaction was to reach in and grab the pouch out, slightly burning myself in the process. So, with half of the water evaporated and half of the rice on the counter, I figured it couldn't get any worse and I just put a lid on it and started laughing at myself. How in the hell do you mess up boxed rice?? If you want to know, now you know who to ask.